Seconds after another...

Everytime i close my eyes u r all i see
But once it opens to reality i know that u r gone forever
How can this heart heal
Again it has been broken after only someone have pace back those broken pieces
Sometimes i wonder what friends really are for
There are two who insisted me to break up with him and promise to be by my side thereafter
But fuck where are they now
Abandone me for i have changed into a boy
Wtf is this so u abandone me for i am no longer part of ur norm
Where is ur compassion i am jus another human being trying to find the right path
How can u say "u r at definately at the wrg way"
Wth ever told u r at the right one
If yes, then y u go clubbing, drink n get urself drunk
Isn't that forbidden from what is the norm of ur so called right path

Yes ever second after another i have regreted the moment where i said to u " I can't find any love in my heart for u"
But in truth my heart crave to love u more n more n more
How evil can a friend be more than what they have poison me with about u
I still love u Shaun deep down inside
I wanted to find a deeper meaning and find what have been bugging me
And yes u love is what i missed
I am deeply sorry of how things ended up
I should have given u time to get back on ur feet
I should never have taken u forgranted
I should have been more faithful to u

For u i will always love
I dun wanna wake up each morning thinking life is meaningless
Now i can slowly move on
I take my own advise
Learn from the past, slowly take the baby steps now, and slowly but surely a bright future awaits me.
I found someone have helped me carry this burden
I thank god for that
I really wanna go back to my old roots
For those are the times i find myself to be truely happy

I am slowly smiling now
I feel like i can finally n with my own courage walk away from ppl i no longer need anymore for they have help me enough, so ya thank u a lot
Use ur gifts to help ppl that needs u more now than i do

With love,
Kai Ergo

Rain goes on...

god say keep on hoping
for because god said it to me shall i believe
a chapther on the bible said god hardern the pharoah heart for being against god
i think that is what god have done for me
for i have once taken his love n guidance as a torture in life

it is jus so hard to cry
esp this week how i wish i could roll tears down out of my eyes
i think so far this year this week have been the worst and ultimate challenge
human beings testing my patience to the extreme
there are frdship who take ur care and love forgranted
then there is the father who question ur love for him when he nvr a day in his life bother to raise u
then u have a job u no longer have the passion to go on anymore
n religion u still trying to understand n think thru "is this reali what i wan, reali who i wan to praise n pray to?"
then u think thru all these how u wish when god created mankind have he omitted u
i surrender myself to the lord for he have all the answers to my life problems
thru his words shall i find the strength to fight
and thru his words shall i find the love i need to fill this heart that have been hardern

i feel always that all the frds i have r not truely frds
only a few very few
there r those who feel are we r really close for we share similarities
but i always feel special different from others
i feel sometimes the only frd i have is myself
there are things u know u frds listen to some they dun
y bother talking rit
then ppl judge u by labelling u as anti-social
hey i am jus human y should i speak if nothing is in my mind
y should i speak if i have my own demons in my mind to fight off
god i seek ur mercy to get me thru this

amen,
kai ergo :(